The Beast’s Tip of The Week – Bombproof Emergency Rations

You will need: One Mars Bar, duct or parcel tape and at least a modicum of self respect and control.

If you take emergency rations on the mountain then you may well end up eating it. One solution it to take something you dislike, so as not to be tempted, but that’s not going to improve your morale when you most need it and you may well turn into a right diva when you’re hungry.

One option is to securely duct tape up a Mars bar or similar to make it a bit more awkward to get into. If you wrap duct tape carefully around the bar, then you may be able to re-use it for repairs and such like. Perhaps even duct taping someone’s feet together if they get drunk on a wild camp*. With the hand-eye co-ordination of a spider on a hotplate, the Beast won’t be trying that out.

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*We don’t recommend or condone this as contributing towards your safety on the hill. Do so at your own (stupid) risk – Ed.

The Beast

The Beast is our Igor. The Beast sets up our pages and makes us strong coffee. On good days The Beast gives an awesome foot massage. The Beast is not to be trifled with. The Beast will moderate without moderation or discrimination; but with deliberation! You have been warned...

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